Monday, May 11, 2015

Anju update...

Before the month of May flies away I wanted to write a post on Anjali's progress and lessons we have learnt as she explores her new world. She has taken huge leaps forward in the last few weeks and a few steps back. We also got perspective on how she handles changes in her home with my in-laws visiting.

  • Anju and her daddy are a team! Though Anju doesn't cry when he leaves for work in the morning, her sheer glee on seeing J during lunch and when he returns home in the evening shows how much she misses him. Anju adores her 'nana' (daddy in Telugu). Though she calls him 'mama' pretty often (which I find hilarious), J has cemented a permanent place in Anju's heart. She is a daddy's girl through and through.
  • Anju has been seeing her 'anna' (big brother Dhruv) as competition since my in-laws arrived in town. Dhruv continues to adore Anju and when we are outside runs behind her with his arms open to protect her from other people or from getting hurt. Anju has been possessive of her daddy and grandparents and has been swatting Dhruv away a lot. I am hoping that this is just a phase as they used to play with each other quite a bit. Anju shows a lot of compassion though when Dhruv gets hurt and even gently rubs his wounds and wipes away his tears. 
  • Health-wise Anju is thriving. She has gained close to 4 lbs and grown quite a bit (close to an inch or more). I am thrilled to announce that she has outgrown 12 month clothes and 18 month clothes fit her well now. The outfits I had bought were so loose when she first joined us. She actually has cute chunky arms now and even has some baby muscles!! Dhruv has coined the nickname 'chubby cheeks' for her. Her body strength is impressive and she is able to pull herself onto our couch now. Of course, this is a little scary for me as fewer things are becoming off limits to her. 
  • Anjali has gone back to wanting to jump off her high chair during meals. She prefers eating food on the go to sitting at the table. I had worked pretty hard to get her to stay and eat a full meal but with so many distractions and changes at home, she has reverted to her old habits. I guess I have to start over on this front! I introduced one of my favorite snacks as a child - plain yoghurt and sugar to Anju's diet and she seems to love it as much as I did. 
  • Anjulilypot is quite a talker now with more words joining her vocabulary. She tries so hard to communicate using words. Ever since she picked up the word 'ow' for 'owie' she has been using it a lot. It is really cute as a lot of owies are pure pretense but we know that this back and forth is going to bring us closer in the long run so she gets lots of rubs and kisses on them. She also says 'arm' when she wants to be carried (she is still trying to say 'carry') and I find this adorable as she comes to me at 6 p.m. sharp as I am cooking dinner and wants me to carry her while I cook. This is huge for me as she seeks my arms despite dad being at home. 
  • A true social butterfly has emerged. Anjali is not afraid of new people and says hi to most folks she comes across. When my in-laws came home, she went to them without hesitation. I think at some level she understands their love and fondness for her as she doesn't usually allow other adults to carry her. She runs into their arms for affection and cuddles (especially if J or I discipline her). I am so happy that she is really enjoying her grandparents. As we have taken Anjali out into the real world, we have discovered that she does not do well in surroundings where there are a lot of people. At friend's homes where there are fewer people she does okay though she gets a little more mischievous. But, when we go to a crowded park or birthday party in an outside venue, she gets overstimulated. To an outsider, she appears to be having a crazy amount of fun but Janardhan and I both know she is actually overwhelmed. She just stops connecting with us and gets hyper. We will be curbing her outings to smaller gatherings and to public places with fewer people as we want her to enjoy the experience.
  • Anju is the Queen of mischief. I have not seen a more curious and fearless child. Of course, I only have Dhruv to compare her to and he was a very reserved, cautious child. Anjali keeps us on our toes at home and outside. We joke that she has to enter 'electronics anonymous' as there is no cell phone, remote, computer, tablet or battery operated object that she can resist. She has gone from happily surfing our phones (at 3a.m. believe it or not)  to bringing them to us lest we lose sight of them. :) 
  • Last of course is Anju and me. We are very similar: both are fiesty and independent yet easily pleased. I stick to our daily routine with Anju no matter what. We sing, read and play a lot. When Janardhan comes home she still only wants him and while I just want to snuggle up with her and kiss her soft chubby cheeks, I still work on letting go of her and focusing on Dhruv during those hours. After years of waiting for our baby, I can't seem to get enough of her.  

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Mother's day...

Mother's day is this coming weekend and so far I have taken each mother's day for granted. In the sense that I don't think much about days in general that are dedicated to a special occasion. I have always felt that it is not the milestone marked by an anniversary but the daily celebration of our marriage itself that matters and so are birthdays, valentines day, etc to me. I definitely care about making J's or the kiddos birthdays special but have so far in life not valued the days dedicated to me much. I used to love my birthdays but even those have lost their significance in face of life. BUT, this mother's day is special. It is special because it is dedicated to Anju and Dhruv. I have reached a point in my life where I feel complete now (like all the parts of my self are fully formed). I am defined by my children. As much as I thought parents molded children, I think it is the other way around. My kids make me who I am. It is very subtle but in teaching them values, I am forced to live by them myself. In chiding them, I are scolding myself for being less patient. In playing with them, I am allowing myself to be a child again and in loving them, I have learnt to love myself. We have been blessed with an adorable daughter born far far away from us. Were we born for her or she for us, I don't know. One thing I do know is that we love her very very much. It has only been over three months since she has been home but Anjali has had such a profound impact on us. I want to thank Anjali for allowing me to be her mother, for accepting me and my love with all it's flaws.

Most importantly this mother's day, I want to thank her birth mother. I hope that wherever she is, the universe let's her know that Anjali is safe, happy and mischievous as hell!

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there! 

Friday, May 1, 2015

Three months home!

Three months home! What a change we have seen in Anjali. Anju has developed a sense of belonging with us. She seems to have accepted us as people who are always there for her and she even looks for us for comfort and love. It is adorable to see her take on responsibilities of her own and start pitching in. Be it unloading the dishwasher or putting away groceries, Anjulilypot means business!!! 'No goofing around mama, let's focus and get the job done,' she seems to say as she hands me one thing after the other expecting me to keep up.

Anju looked at us the other day and said "Mama, up." Wow! Her first sentence!! After three months of Anju preferring gestures to words hearing her speak was amazing! She has picked up a few words since like 'cat,' 'out' and 'owie.' J and I are thrilled that Anju is making attempts to speak even though she doesn't always say the words correctly. We decided to give speech therapy a shot to see if it helps Anju. Either way, she seemed to love the attention she got from the speech therapist we went to.

With each passing day, Anju is revealing more of herself and it is such a joy to see her blossom. She is gaining so much strength and is incredibly well balanced. The cutest thing she does is her jump-skip walk that is a bounce! She bounces around the home like Tigger and is up to some mischief or the other. A true busy-body has emerged. :) Anjali loves to dress up and with the warmer weather, she has been loving wearing her dresses.  She comes to each of us and points to her dress to get admiration and praise.

Anjali met her paternal grandparents last week for the first time and she adores them. My in-laws (visiting from Florida) are absolutely besotted with their granddaughter and Anjali has them wrapped around her little finger in a few short days. If we are a little strict with her she runs to them for babying time.

I have to end the post on sibling love. Anju asks Dhruv for things these days and more significantly they wipe and kiss away each other's tears.
Here are some pics from April.