Birthday baby!

Anjali turned 4 in March. Tiny, sweet Anjali celebrated with three birthday parties! Anjali really looked forward to her birthday and all the planning that went into it. My in-laws flew in from Florida to celebrate her birthday with her.  She had a party at school with her friends. In the evening we had a small celebration at home with Anjali's close buds (from outside school) and our family. We wanted to keep it small to keep the focus on our birthday baby. That weekend we had another intimate gathering with extended family. Anjali soaked in every moment of her glory. :) She loved the dresses and noticed every detail of the decorations, cakes and presents. When Anju smiles, the world dances with her. I call it the Anjulily effect. Dhruv, Janardhan and I have totally succumbed to it.

Bonding and attachment, these are heavy words in adoption. I didn't spend even a second thinking about it with Dhruv. I just took it for granted with him and have always stayed so connected with him. When I look at my relationship with Anju, we took love, time and work to get to where we are today. Mother and child wrapped in a world of our own, feeling each other's emotions with it's ups and downs, seeing words without needing to hear them and calling each other's bluffs. I know if I play a game of poker with either of my kids, I will definitely win!

The cycle of emotions and the push-and-pull that Anjali experiences are part of our daily life. Anju is taking in so much into her 4 year old brain. Processing the world through her past and present experiences. I see that her past impressions still color the way she reacts to certain situations. I went for a 4-day silence retreat a few weeks ago. I did it for myself! I have given every ounce of my being to my family over the last few years. I really wanted time to sit and feel grateful. I get caught up in the daily craziness of life and wanted a pause to grow spiritually, I need to feel less guilty about trying to carve time for myself and keep moving forward in life. Anjali had a tough time dealing with my being gone. As I was in silence for two of the days, I could not talk to her. I did leave voice messages for her and Dhruv as I missed them terribly. Anjali being herself, survived but when I came home, she told me that she was scared I would not come back! My poor baby. Anjali had her grandparents, dad and brother with her constantly reminding her that I would be back and counting down the days for her, but she still thought that I was gone. She was happy to have me back and after a few rough nights with her crying for me and needing to be reassured, she settled down. To make matters worse, our doll has had to constantly deal with teachers leaving her class as well as her best friend B leaving the school. :( The push is her dealing with it on her own, her independent streak and defensive shield coming up. Wanting to cross the road without holding hands, saying 'no' to things to cry next second because it is actually a 'yes,' not sitting in one place to eat and pushing boundaries. The pull is her crying in her sleep, crying, whining and talking non-stop to get our attention, needing to be carried and constantly reassured about parts of her day that she knows never change. We keep Anjali's life as vanilla as possible. We do whatever it takes to keep her informed of daily schedules and changes that we foresee. We put down cushions when we see her falling. Change is inevitable and Anjali is grasping this concept at an early age. I hope that our little angel knows that one that will never change is how much we love and adore her.

Now for some cute moments in the last couple of months. Anjali has realized that playing games with Dhruv is a whole lot of fun. She is suddenly interested in learning chess (Dhruv is obsessed with it and quite good for his age) and she sits and watches Dhruv play and is actively taking lessons from him. He is of course thrilled out of his mind and has come up a cool way of enticing her to play by asking her which of his chess pieces she would like to 'eat' so that she grasps concepts of how the pieces move. Anju is also starting to allow Dhruv to snuggle with her these days (something she objects to as he cannot stop kissing her cheeks and hugging her super tight when he gets the chance). Honestly, I don't blame him as J and I do can't stop squishing her too. Anjali is quite the artist these days and is listening well enough to make only a small mess while creating masterpieces. :) The big messes being that the walls become her canvas. Her obsession with stickers has been replaced with painting cupcakes and rainbows. Most of her creations are of course only for her dad. For me, Anjali's biggest victory is that she keeps her hair tied in pigtails for a few hours at a time these days! I think she has finally realized that she looks super cute in them and secondly, that  keeping her hair out of her face allows her to focus on more mischievous pursuits!!

Smooth ride into the New Year

When I wrote my last post, we we had just hiked up a very tall mountain and were standing on the top, exhausted from the journey and glad that we had survived. With God's blessings, we had a smooth descent downhill to normalcy. I am so grateful for resilient kids who fought through the tough days. I re-read my old post and cannot believe where Anju is today.

Little Anjulily is a trooper and no matter what happens to her, she will survive. I believe this is a secret ability God gifted her with. One day she came back home from school and announced that she had a best friend. I was delighted and so was she. Her buddy (let's call him 'B') and she seem to be inseparable. Usually when I drop Anjali off in the morning, she just doesn't let go of me. She cries and holds on so tight. Now, with B in the picture, she runs into his arms and is lost in a flurry of giggles and affection. B and Anju adore each other. Who knew! Her teacher and I tried everything to ease the morning drop-off. Looks like all we needed was B. :) It is so cute that Anjali has made her first best friend. I hope she makes many more.

  Anjali's relationships with everyone has really matured. With me, she is calm, happy and responds well to instructions. With Janardhan she is more willing to share him when others come home. With Dhruv she has really accepted the little sister role and likes to just sit and watch him play. The two of them do a lot with each and help each other too. Dhruv helps Anjali wash her hands and Anju keeps Dhruv company (he's going through a 'I'm scared of being alone' phase). They seem to be more in sync these days. Even when they fight, they comfort each other and apologies seem easier.  Earlier when we had company at home things were quite hard for Anju. She would not allow Janardhan to have a conversation without being all over the place. She seems more at ease now and is joining the other kids at play rather than sitting with the adults. We have been to a few social gatherings in the last month and Anjali has done so well in all of them. I don't have to follow her around anymore!! This is a big achievement for Anju. Seeing her independence and confidence grow has been so gratifying. I guess, this is what attachment looks like. :)

Of course, the biggest milestone of all is that ANJALI  HAS BEEN HOME FOR TWO YEARS!!!! I can still remember the tiny little baby we brought home from Bangalore two years ago and the first few days as a family. I am not sure how much Anjali remembers. Her interest in hearing her Bangalore story has gone away for the moment. She did go through a phase around December where she had to hear her story everyday. It was so cute to watch Dhruv tell her his version of our trip to India and how he tried so hard to cheer her up on that first day. Meeting Anjali and seeing her sweet face for the first time is the happiest moment for our family. We are finally complete and whole.  I am very humbled and grateful. People tell us how lucky Anjali is to have us. All I can say that is that we are so lucky to have her. She took us into her heart and accepted us as her family. It is a big and kind act from such a young child. I have learnt a lot from her and from being her mother. My heart still dances with happiness when I kiss her sweet, soft cheeks and hold her tight. Anjali is my baby. She always has been and always will be.

 I know a lot of you reading my post must be waiting to bring your babies home. Before you know it, you will be celebrating milestones and your children will be blossoming in all the love. I write this blog to thank the universe for my beautiful daughter and to share the joy that is this journey. 

When the going gets tough....

When the going gets tough, the tough get going! Those words have been the my daily motivation to get through the rough patches our family has been through in the last three months. The only constant has been change and the universe has reminded me that love and compassion are all that you need. I feel like we've been in the center of a tornado and managed to hold onto each other. We are here and we are good.

Anjali started preschool in July and the first couple of months were good. She was all smiles and had no aggression at all at school. She was adjusting well there though she had a few tough challenges with getting through nap time. A doll helped as a comfort object to get her through her nap time at school. She refused to nap there but was content to just stay on her cot and play with her toys (a few more toys got added to get comfort bunch). Then, the school did something unexpected! They moved her to the next class for older kids (3.5 - 4 years). Anjali changed overnight. Poor baby regressed literally by over a year. She was aggressive at home and at school. She assumed an old defiant avatar and pushed and pulled at us. She was so mad at me for leaving her and at the same time so anxious to go to school. She refused to listen to us and nothing worked to soothe her. No amount of hugs, kisses or disciplining seemed to make a difference. I did it all. Pulled every trick out of the bag. Nothing worked! I bought her new dolls. I kissed her a 1000 times and didn't let her out of my arms or my sight when she was home. But, nothing worked. We were exasperated and so sad. My heart broke for my sweet angel who just couldn't handle the situation. I spoke to her teachers at length daily. I asked them to be patient with her, to give her time-ins and to promise her that I would be back. I finally started with small bribes. Five m&m's if Lily got through the day without hurting a friend. That seemed to lessen the aggression at school. Lots of praise also helped her understand that 'good girl' behavior got rewarded. I added in a show to her after-school routine as another reward. Soon, her issues at school lessened. At home, it was harder. We were in the process of getting our home built (we moved last week). We were getting busier and Anjali just wasn't herself. She was very moody and tantrums would erupt every two minutes with a good dose of drama thrown in. Some of it was her being a 'threenager' but most of it was her just being unable to stay centered. We were in crisis mode and I just could not get myself to medidate. I rushed to get all the chores done in the morning so that when Anju was done with school, I was a 100% there for the kids. Dhruv started acting out too in the midst of all of this. I honestly don't know how J and I kept smiling or going.

Janardhan and I spent so many hours talking about what we could do to be there for both the kids. We just did nothing else but play, soothe and kiss them for over a month. In the meantime, we visited our home often and coordinated all the paperwork and inspections as the move came closer. It is funny. But, when you are in crisis mode, getting home, mortgage and insurance paperwork seem to be a breeze in the sense that you somehow know that they will all get done in good time. Our home closed a month earlier than we had anticipated! Miraculously in the middle of all this turmoil (I also had two weeks worth of health issues), things on the home front went smoothly and we moved in last week.

With the move to our new home, some changes happened. The kids, both seemed to ease out a bit. Dhruv and Anju were thrilled to see all their toys that went to storage. Anju loves having a room that is her own (though she sleeps in Dhruv's room). She says with lots of pride, ' Let go papa (baby) room!' She found a doll and a blanket that she had forgotten about and now goes everywhere with them. She doesn't take them to school though they ride in the car with her. She has improved from asking me about a 100 times in a day if I'll be there to pick her up to asking it about 10 times in the course of the day. Some things are non-negotiable still: like mom (as opposed to dad) dropping her off and picking her up from school, weekend naps are with dad ONLY, week day naps require me to be next to her the whole time, Anju picks her own clothes and socks and the toys that accompany her to school everyday. All these are a small price to pay as Anjali seems more herself these days. She still has some days that are harder than others but the defiant avatar has gone down. She is more obedient (and so is Dhruv) and less tantrum-y.

I miss Anjali a lot when she goes to school. Academically she is doing quite well and is speaking a LOT. But, she is so tiny that I feel like protecting her every second of the day. I hope the kids are not bullying her. I hope she is eating enough and napping enough at school. I hope she understands what the teachers are saying. I worry sometimes. I wish mom's could put a love-shield on their kids to keep them safe all the time.

With the craziness around us, the one thing that held us together was LOVE. I know it sounds cheesy but that is all that we've truly got to give to others and ourselves. Love and compassion towards Anjali and her love and compassion towards us are what brought us together. During Dhruv's hardest moments, Anjali would go up to him and say, "Calm down Dhruva. I hug you and kiss you." She even asked me to calm down once. Hehe! We've wiped tears off each other's faces quite a few times in the last few months. Change has been unsettling and settling. Life just is. We cannot change it's course as much as we would like to. But, that said, when the going gets tough, the tough get going. I know my daughter is going to be up and running through all of it. My tiny powerhouse of a child let's nothing get in her way. My biggest prayer is that she never forgets that.

Big move to Austin, TX

Change has been the constant for us in the last month. We moved from our home of 11 years, Portland, OR to Austin, TX. This move is something we have wanted for years. The time for when our family was ready to make such a big change happened and all of a sudden the ball was rolling and we left our beloved home and friends  and moved to Austin in three weeks!!! Yup. In one breath just like that. :)

I was nervous. Not about coordinating the move and making sure our stuff showed up in our apartment in Austin (as opposed to sitting in storage for the next few months) but about what this change would mean to Anjali. As Dhruv correctly pointed out, Anjali has had three homes already! Boy, despite everything and constant changes she's really hung in there. We have Janardhan's cousin and his family in town here in Austin so we stayed with them for the first ten days and were able to really focus on being there for the kids. Anju has had a few rough days since but overall we've done pretty well. Anjali and Dhruv seem to be happy with apartment life (though our neighbor downstairs hasn't had as much fun with their running around). I am loving the sunshine and long walks with the kids. Dhruv and Anjali are happy to be around extended family and to get so much time outdoors. Dhruv does miss his friends and school a lot though. Poor guy! I am looking forward to his joining kindergarten in fall. I think he is really ready for formal schooling.

Now, back to Anjali. The strongest part of Anjali is her unconquerable spirit. She is a true survivor. She's had a lot of good moments so far in her new home. She is in pure bliss when we are outdoors. She just loves running around and playing. Indoors, it was a little harder to contain her energy but I see how much she has grown and matured. She seems to be okay with some of her stuff being in storage. She seems to be okay with meeting new people. She's definitely more social now-a-days and is gentler with her peers. She's friendly when she meets kids at the park and looks for help when there is a confrontation. Her improvement in speaking is just astounding. She talks clearly and has the cutest way of constructing sentences. She narrates tall tales about things that happened and even tells Dhruv that he's 'not funny' when he's teasing her. Even on the craziest of days seeing the kids move forward with smiles on their faces seems to get me back into a grateful space.

Now on to the top headlines of the month. :)

• I have had a few 'mommy is going to go nuts' moments. I have been locked in a two bedroom apartment with two mischievous and precocious kids and no Janardhan nearby to give me adult company. J's work in Oregon was a 2 minute drive from home so we always ate lunch together. I have to confess I miss my adult lunch buddy!!! 
• Anjali is back to bouncing-around-Anju. Eating and running seem to happen in parallel and after sitting around for close to an hour at each meal to feed Anju her bites, I turned into 'strict' mommy and told her that she would be done with her meal if she got down from her chair. Since then I have had a few peaceful meals and some agonizing ones. Threenagers are HARD as they love to challenge your patience. 
• Anjali sits through a 20 minute show without getting up!Yippeeeee!! Okay, I know that TV time should be restricted but I am super happy that she actually enjoys watching Mother Goose Club. I feel this is a huge milestone for her as being able to sit and focus on an activity that long is new for her.
• Anjali and Dhruv. The mischievous two. They can't seem to figure out if they want to hug either other or fight. Outdoors they are the best of pals. Anjali even calls out to Dhruv when he bikes ahead saying, "Wait Anna. I love you." In the apartment it is a whole other story. I have had to discipline both of them as their play gets really loud and rambunctious as times. Dhruv has become a big boy now and agrees to play in his room for short periods of time so that I can get things done. This helps as I can give Anjali more attention and keep her occupied. 
• Now onto the moment of the month. There are lots of sweet moments with children. They are so cute and adorable when they aren't raising hell. But, there are moments that just blow your mind. This week, I was having a hard day. As a parent in a new city I have had the challenge of keeping my kids entertained, fed and happy while house-hunting, preschool hunting, school touring, setting up accounts, doctors, etc. I've had my hands full. I was not feeling particularly pleased and Anjali insisted on helping me put away the laundry instead of playing with her toys. Kids seem to wear 8 million outfits and just matching the pairs takes me ages. Anjali likes a faster pace with the laundry putting away task than I can handle. Suddenly, she spotted a kitchen towel in the basket and showed it to me. I was like 'Oh no! Now, Anjali will want me to go to the kitchen and put it away.' She looked at me and said, "Mama where are kitchen towel be?" (That is Anjali's way of asking where does the kitchen towel go?) That was the moment! I just burst out laughing as my little task master spoke the cutest sentence ever. I was blown away by her improvement in speech. I have sat in speech therapy with her for so many months. Just saying the 's' and 'f' sounds took her six months and she used to so exhausted by the effort that she would nap in the car. And here she is now. Constructing a full sentence all by herself. I was humbled by the sheer magnitude of transformation that I have had the honor of witnessing in my life. Seeing Anjali grow and become her own tiny person with a right to freedom, choice and respect really fills me with hope for a better world. Anjali being with us has been the sum of choices that people have made for her but not by her. I pray that the world that made them for her now paves the way for her to make her own choices and build her own dreams. 

Happy 3rd birthday Anjali!

Anjali turned three years old in March. We flew down to Florida to celebrate her birthday with my husband's family. Anju loved her Minnie themed birthday celebration and was all smiles. She has become in a 'big' girl in many ways now.

Some of Anju's 'big kid' steps include:

• Being the boss: Yes. She makes decisions all by herself and even says "Got it?" to ensure that we will be obeying her commands. :)
• Eating on her own. This one is huge. She is able to hold her attention long enough to eat most of her meal all by herself. She likes to be fed towards the end but that's mostly so that she can multi-task. 
• Speaking long sentences. Anjali has really picked up and is speaking so clearly and so well. She even makes little jokes these days and finds herself super funny. Poop jokes seem to be her thing! Unfortunately her brother finds those the funniest!
• Anju is a preschooler now!!! This is a big one and a topic all by itself. 
• Little Miss Independent: Anju likes to dress and undress herself. Put on her own socks and shoes. Eat by herself. Get herself in and out of a car. This is great as she is building a lot of confidence. On the other side, attempting to help her with the task or telling her that she cannot do something usually ends up with her throwing a tantrum. I love her independence and her sense of accomplishment but it is challenging when a child wants to get in to the car by herself when you are parked on the road and there is a lot of traffic.

We started out this year on a great note. January and February saw Anjali make huge progress in every way. She was connected and attached to all three of us. Her neediness was very healthy. Everything changed when we went down to Florida to celebrate her birthday. She had a really hard time transitioning back to normalcy when we returned. So, I am going to break this post down into Pre-Florida and Post-Florida sections.

Pre-Florida:
Pre-Florida Anju was calm, centered, happy and mischievous (in a good way). She just followed Dhruv around and to see them play a game for twenty to thirty minutes without a fight was just awesome. J and I were able to sit and chat without being interrupted and Anjali was just so settled that it made us happy. She loved sitting on our laps and just playing. Entertaining herself and full of laughter and joy. She was a complete mama's girl and just wanted to be with me all the time.

Anjulily started pre-school in February. We were nervous about Anju's transition from being home all day long to being away for three hours a day. She was worried and almost cried when I left but she is a brave kid and was able to transition without any issues (at school at least). At home, it was a bit up and down. She is definitely more clingy and calls out to us in the night. Usually, she just needs a kiss and reassurance that we are right there but around 3 a.m., I switch spots with her and she moves to my bed. This way, I get a few hours of continuous sleep and she gets to snuggle up with her dad. In general, Anju seems to be enjoying her time at school. She is developing social skills and picking up new words. It is really cute to hear her say 'thank you' and 'excuse me.' The fact that her preschool gives her a breakfast and a snack in those three hours is a huge plus for her as she gets to eat so many different things in a day. She is learning to sit and focus on an activity for a few minutes at a time.

Post-Florida:
We decided to fly down to Florida to celebrate Anjali's third birthday. It was our first flight journey after returning from India last January. We flew on the red-eye so it was great. The kids just slept all the way through. Not much fun for me as I had two kids sleeping on my lap but it was better than them jumping all over me. :) Dhruv and Anju were thrilled to see their grandparents and my sister-in-law and her family. They both adore their baby cousin and spent quite a bit of time trying to interact with her. Our niece is a year old and I think she was pretty curious about these two kiddos vying for her attention. The kids enjoyed the sunshine and played a lot outside. Anjulily was very excited about her birthday and it is so cute how much attention she paid to all the things we had set up for it. She loved her presents too and all the love.

Things were good initially and then we saw Anjali go through her usual regressions when she is around extended family. She was overstimulated, ran around a lot, did not eat much and challenged our (J and my) authority. She completed disconnected from Dhruv when we were at my in-law's home. If we went out of the home, she was great and bonded with him but at home, she wanted nothing to do with him (or me at times). She was very clingy with Janardhan, which is totally understandable since she is a daddy's girl and seeks his arms for comfort when she is anxious. She would ask Dhruv and us to 'go away' when she didn't want to be around us. It was hurtful. Very hurtful for Dhruv who bawled his eyes out as his baby sister all of sudden did not want to be around him. We were glad to come back home, hoping that Anjali would be less anxious but the first three weeks were a nightmare. She truly regressed. She firstly was not happy to be back. I think she thought we had left this place behind forever like every place we visited in India. She wanted to hit, pinch and hurt us all the time and would not listen. Ignoring or disciplining just did not work at all. She just didn't seem to care. She was aggressive at school and at home. I have to say, it was really hard seeing our baby suddenly be so anxious and unhappy. I was just lost and losing energy. Anju is our angel and to see her lose her inner peace was hard. We know that adopted kids grieve and the grief comes back in cycles. This one just took us by surprise as she had been doing so well before our trip. We knew the flight journey would be hard and being away from home would be hard. But, being back home that seemed like the hardest for her!

It took us weeks to realize that first step towards her being happy is to see us repeat the behavior we had shown in the past, We went back to staying calm and working with Dhruv to react calmly. We went back to giving Anju time-ins. We just held her in our arms till she relaxed. If she jumped off, I would show her my sad face and say "I love holding my baby." and she would climb back in to my lap. I promised her I would be back after snack time to get her from school. If she called out in the night, she could come and sleep with us. I told her over and over again and that "home is where Nana (daddy), mama and anna (big brother) are." We told her over and over again how much we loved her. How she was our doll.  We gave her lot of praise for good behavior and Dhruv also clapped and cheered her on. Slowly over time, she is back to being herself. I rewarded her with m&ms if she was good at school and this worked. In just a day, she stopped the behavior she had started at school. She loves candy so just discussing the m&m colors gets her excited. She gets them these days too on and off whenever she asks for them but she feels proud when I pick her up. She tells me what all she did and how she played with her friends. She gives me a report and glows with happiness when I say she is always a good sweet little girl. Progress is slow. Some days are easy with Anju and she is just herself. Smiling, mischievous, compassionate, helpful and ever lovable. Some days, she has it a little harder. I wish I could read her mind and know what is going on. I don't want her to feel grief or sadness. I know we cannot undo the Florida trip or it's aftermath. Part of me wants to analyze it and see what might have triggered her regression. The rest of me is just so grateful to see Anju be a 'lilypot' again.

Meditation has been my mantra. I meditate every day for 20 minutes. It has helped me so much. It keeps me in a place of love and gratitude. That's the place I want to live in.

Us. Anju's family. We all learnt a little more about each other in the last two months. Peeling the layers off each other is painful at times. But, I know that love is what brings down these layers. I will end my super long post on that note. Hope you have a lovely day!

Indian recipes

While I waited for Anju to come home, I thought a good way to spend my time was to share Indian food recipes. These recipes have been handed down to me from the amazing women in my life and this is my way of showing thanks to them. Click on the 'Indian recipes' label on the right-hand pane to access simple home-made recipes. 

One year home with Anjali!

January 16th will mark one year home with Anjali. What an amazing journey the last twelve months have been! I feel so proud of Anjali for all that she has achieved in just one short year. Every time she falls down, she just picks herself up and keeps going forward with a smile. She is a true survivor and angel.

For all the families waiting to bring their children home, I know the wait is long and seems endless, but hang in there. I am not going to downplay how hard the transition is on every member of the family. But to experience the transforming power of love is life changing. I am grateful for every moment we have spent with her, even the the hard ones, for they have all led us to where we are today. I wrote what I am going to call 'My blessing' for Anju. Here goes:

Anju, Anju, Anjali, our angel of joy.
You dance and sing and laugh and play.
Knowing not what you have done to me.
You have me in a spell,one so deep and profound,
I cannot tell you the bliss I feel,
For the most beautiful part of me I have found.
In a little girl born with eyes so sparkly and brown
with soft,sweet cheeks so chubby and round.
My baby with a heart so giving and pure,
with an appetite matched only by a dinosaur!
Your spirit is so strong and carefree,
Just fly, fly, fly away with me.
Let us dream up a world for you
Of fairies and lilies and candy galore.
Where your every wish comes true
and you live happily forevermore.


It has been over a month since I updated my blog but a lot has happened. I am going to do my best to provide my monthly Anjulily update.

• Anju saw snow for the first time! She was thrilled. She claimed it was 'pouring nnow outside' (we are still working on the 's' sound at speech therapy). So far I have not been able to find gloves her size as she needs the ones with individual finger panels(?) and not the baby ones. Anyway, she threw away her baby gloves and just handled the cold soft snow like a pro. 

• Food: Anju still can't seem to have enough of it. Yoghurt rice and potato curry are her favorites. She has been helping herself to Oreos as well since apparently two-year-olds can do whatever they want. She has added a few extra meals to the day but hey, I am not complaining! If this helps her chub up, I am thrilled. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that she also feeds herself and I think she is enjoying the independence. 
• Brother love: Anju is feeling it now. I see more cuddles and fun than fights. I am really counting our blessings. Dhruv is truly getting through to Anju and is a very proud big brother. They play 'escaping from the lion,' 'hiding under blankets' and 'scream and run from random enemies till mom loses her hearing and patience.' Anjali and Dhruv met their cousin Aarohan who visited in December and Anjali had her first 'Hey, that is MY brother' moment. They had a lot of cousin fun and affection which was super cute to watch. I can promise that she hugs her brother a little tighter after the visit and Dhruv is definitely not complaining. 
• Co-sleeping with Anju has officially ended! Dhruv and Anjali have been sharing the guest bed for the last two weeks and even though I wake up a hundred times to put Dhruv back to sleep, it has been great!!!!! Anjali sleeps really well with Dhruv and they cuddle a lot in their sleep. Unfortunately, for me co-sleeping did not do anything as far as bonding with Anju goes. She slept on the other end of the bed between her dad and her crib. She did not sleep between us and for the most part I slept in the guest room with Dhruv as he does not like sleeping alone. So, while it worked great for her to bond with her dad and gave her comfort for the first almost twelve months, we thought it was time to move the kids to their own space for sleeping. I am really praying that this lasts and that Dhruv slowly learns to sleep through the night. Meanwhile, I am operating in zombie mode. 
• Mischief update: My gosh! There is never a dull moment if you are Anju. She has mastered opening doors as she can reach the handle if she stands on her tippy-toes. I hope the door opening-closing phase ends soon. Keeping things out of her reach is quite a challenge too as smarty pants moves chairs and stools around to get to things. She is still a people person and not a toy person. Getting her to sit still and play with a toy is hard. I think her touching everything in sight phase will wane only when she gets more excited about her play things. Overall, she is making progress though in tiny steps. Her confidence has given her a lot of independence and she is by nature fearless and curious. I guess, independence + fearlessness + curiosity + two year old kid = mischief !!
• Anju and me: I think lilypot's dad has some competition here! Anju is slowly becoming a mommy's girl and misses me a lot when I am out. I have started taking a little time for myself these days. I think being at home with her has allowed me to be the disciplining and calming force. There has been a shift and I can feel it too. I feel like I had to become the mom Anju needed me to be last year (strong, consistent, constant, disciplinarian). The one introducing her to structure and routine. I feel like the layers are all off now. She calls my bluff here and there. She knows there are times when I am exhausted and just need a hug. She knows that mothers can be eaten by lions too and that we get hurt. She knows that I treasure the moments when I stroke her cute cheeks and just gaze at her. She usually has places to be but she gives me these moments. She has a stool permanently in the kitchen and watches me cook and wash dishes every day. She never seems to tire of it. She joins me in singing songs as I work around the home. We are a team!! 

Before I go, I realized that I forgot to put up pictures from Halloween. I thought Anju looked adorable as a duckie! She even said 'kack-kack' (her version of quack quack) to add to the cuteness factor!